I am coming to the end of an "era" and era of misunderstanding on my part. I have come to a point in which I must become something, or be left always wanting. I am finally discovering my full potential.
Life, with its many challenges from day to day can overwhelm the senses and block out the spirit. It can find within it a doom and gloom of which is not necessary. I am tired of being the "victim" of my circumstances. In reality, my circumstances are not bad...at all. I have hurdles to jump like every other human being, but really, motherhood is not an "emergency"! It's a time to embrace the fullest potential of yourself as a person.
I love my family. I love to create. I love to experience the joys that come with everything life has to offer. And there is SO much! I have ahead of me so many more years of love and creating! I can't afford to sit around wondering what it might be like, "if only" I didn't have kids hanging on me wanting things to do. I am going to make for them a world to explore within our home. I am going to create a place where I can explore my artistic side. I am going to put COLOR into every corner of this house. And not just any color, colors and patterns I ADORE. What is the use of having things you only "like"? Life is for us to LOVE.
I am an amazing Mom. End of story. I am going to start acting like it.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Contemplative moments...
We went up to visit Deric's grandparents (on the Abel side) on Sunday and along the way I was thinking (since it is a long drive). I thought about how "Uneasy I was in the world". I know that sounds strange but let me explain.
I have noticed recently how many people around me are devoid of common courtesy, etiquette, and manners. How many people have you seen ignore the fact someone is driving and just step out in front of them as if they must stop because this person is special, like Moses and the Red Sea or something. How many people butt in line? How many people answer their phone when there is someone trying to have a conversation with them? How many people sidestep the responsibility of teaching their child that you shouldn't run into other people's yards without asking, or eat the food while they are at the grocery store? How many people just don't answer their phone when they just don't want to have to "deal" with whomever it is for whatever reason? Why have people become so rude to one another? Why so selfish?
The sad part is, I don't have a real answer. I can only speculate with my experiences and the changes I have seen in the 24 odd years of my lifetime. That I have even seen a change in people in that short a time is a testament to humanity. It used to be that people would smile at each other, hold doors happily, and even say "hello" to total strangers. People were friendly. I still do those things...I see no reason not to.
My thoughts are these: We are overwhelmed. Yes, overwhelmed with the zillions of possibilities for us each day that we have a hard time looking outside of ourselves. We don't slow down anymore. We are constantly dealing with the barrage of information coming in and out of our lives. Also, we have been taught of late that we "deserve" this or "deserve" that. Even if we have never worked for it a day in our lives. This attitude makes us selfish with our time and money. I wish I knew how to change it back to the way it was. But, it's lost in the world. The least I can do is instill these traits in my children.
Since Sunday I have continued thinking about all sorts of things. It occurred to me that the reason women hate it so much when their husbands "try to fix them" is because that implies that they were "broken" in the first place. That is a hard thing for women to handle. We are extremely hard on ourselves. Even if what has happened has nothing whatsoever to do with us. We take on all responsibility for the world. Which is just not right. This may also explain why women are hesitant to go to counselors for any number of issues.
I also realized that I am a rare breed of mother that is under no disillusion about my children. I know they are amazing individuals, and that they have so much potential and so much ability. But, I also know that they can be bratty, and they can be obnoxious and mean. When other moms say things like, "My little child is so smart, they are so kind and sweet" and the next moment this kid is bashing in other kid's heads I have to laugh. Then the mom is reprimanding by saying, "Oh hun, you know, you shouldn't do that". I just have to cringe. I let them know it's wrong...not just "something maybe you shouldn't do". Haha! I love my kids dearly, but when they are acting badly I don't cater to them at all.
Anywho, just some little tidbits I have been contemplating. I hope to start feeling more "easy in my world" soon. I need to just realize that this little family is the only thing that I can really count on fully.
I have noticed recently how many people around me are devoid of common courtesy, etiquette, and manners. How many people have you seen ignore the fact someone is driving and just step out in front of them as if they must stop because this person is special, like Moses and the Red Sea or something. How many people butt in line? How many people answer their phone when there is someone trying to have a conversation with them? How many people sidestep the responsibility of teaching their child that you shouldn't run into other people's yards without asking, or eat the food while they are at the grocery store? How many people just don't answer their phone when they just don't want to have to "deal" with whomever it is for whatever reason? Why have people become so rude to one another? Why so selfish?
The sad part is, I don't have a real answer. I can only speculate with my experiences and the changes I have seen in the 24 odd years of my lifetime. That I have even seen a change in people in that short a time is a testament to humanity. It used to be that people would smile at each other, hold doors happily, and even say "hello" to total strangers. People were friendly. I still do those things...I see no reason not to.
My thoughts are these: We are overwhelmed. Yes, overwhelmed with the zillions of possibilities for us each day that we have a hard time looking outside of ourselves. We don't slow down anymore. We are constantly dealing with the barrage of information coming in and out of our lives. Also, we have been taught of late that we "deserve" this or "deserve" that. Even if we have never worked for it a day in our lives. This attitude makes us selfish with our time and money. I wish I knew how to change it back to the way it was. But, it's lost in the world. The least I can do is instill these traits in my children.
Since Sunday I have continued thinking about all sorts of things. It occurred to me that the reason women hate it so much when their husbands "try to fix them" is because that implies that they were "broken" in the first place. That is a hard thing for women to handle. We are extremely hard on ourselves. Even if what has happened has nothing whatsoever to do with us. We take on all responsibility for the world. Which is just not right. This may also explain why women are hesitant to go to counselors for any number of issues.
I also realized that I am a rare breed of mother that is under no disillusion about my children. I know they are amazing individuals, and that they have so much potential and so much ability. But, I also know that they can be bratty, and they can be obnoxious and mean. When other moms say things like, "My little child is so smart, they are so kind and sweet" and the next moment this kid is bashing in other kid's heads I have to laugh. Then the mom is reprimanding by saying, "Oh hun, you know, you shouldn't do that". I just have to cringe. I let them know it's wrong...not just "something maybe you shouldn't do". Haha! I love my kids dearly, but when they are acting badly I don't cater to them at all.
Anywho, just some little tidbits I have been contemplating. I hope to start feeling more "easy in my world" soon. I need to just realize that this little family is the only thing that I can really count on fully.
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